Vísindamaður í stöðu páfa

Besta lesning morgunsins er atvinnuumsókn Dean Burnett um starf páfa.

Dean er vísindamaður í lausamennsku, reyndar trúlaus en samt mörgum kostum gæddur. Atvinnuumsókn hans birtist á vef The Guardian nú í morgunsárið.

Pope resigns, scientist applies for job

Nokkrir góðir molar úr umsókninni:

Dear Sir/Madam/Holy Ghost

I am very interested in applying for the recently announced vacancy for the position of pope....

Although I am not a practising member of the Catholic (or any other) Church, I am a qualified and enthusiastic scientist. I believe this makes me an ideal choice for the next pope, for a number of reasons. For example, I have had many jobs where it is compulsory to wear a white coat, and the wearing of long white garments appears to be the main duty of the pope. I also regularly lecture on the subject of neuroscience, so am extensively experienced at speaking in an unfamiliar language to rooms full of people who are struggling to stay awake, so it would be no trouble for me to offer Mass whenever required.

I am not a cardinal, but a recent check of my wallet reveals that I still have a membership cards for both GAME, Blockbuster Video and MVC, showing that I am clearly dedicated to declining institutions and have a robust if unrealistic belief in resurrection....

I can also turn water into wine, which is viewed as more of a "classic" miracle. It takes some time as it involves me pouring the water onto grapevines before growing, picking, sorting, crushing, fermenting, maturing, bottling and selling. But overall, it's definitely water being turned into wine. With Science! (Unless that doesn't count as a miracle, in which case it's clearly magic).

Athugasemdir

[Jósef Smári Ásmundsson, 12.2.2013 kl. 18:14]

Hann kann að tefla,er það ekki?

[Arnar Pálsson, 18.2.2013 kl. 13:35]

Hann kann allavega að hrókera.